


all i want for christmas is an end to the exploitation of the working class (and you)

by Jsscshvlr



Series: it's the most wonderful time of the year [3]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Identity Reveal, Michelle Jones is a good mum, Strangers to Lovers, non denominational nativity, the title has literally nothing to do with the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jsscshvlr/pseuds/Jsscshvlr
Summary: “Em Jay!” She looks up from her book with a smile at the excitement that seems to seep out of Maddie with every passing moment. She comes bounding over from where she was painting with some other children - with a flyer in her hand.She takes it out of her hand while Maddie climbs to sit in her lap so they can read it together. Michelle tries to get her to read most things out loud if they have the time - something her mother used to do with her.“The rector said he’s putting on a show and that I can audition if I want!” Michelle looks over to the director Maddie is animatedly talking about. He’s already looking over in their direction when she catches his gaze, huh he’s cute, and he smiles widely and waves over.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Maddie Jones, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: it's the most wonderful time of the year [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053131
Comments: 22
Kudos: 55
Collections: Twelve Days of Promptmas





	all i want for christmas is an end to the exploitation of the working class (and you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [perfectlystill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectlystill/gifts).



> happy birthday, Emma! Your kindness is infectious and I hope you have a truly wonderful day. Love you! 
> 
> -  
> promptmas: child's first Christmas

“Maddie come on baby - there are only two more blocks and then you can sit down.”

She watches as her daughter thinks it through as if there’s any other way to get to the community theatre. Surely she must know Michelle would pick her up if she gave her the puppy dog eyes, but she seems to reserve those for bigger things - knowing she only gives in a few times a day. Noticing her daughter has picked up on these aspects of her personality so quickly makes her heart soar - she’s not sure she’s going to cope if she ever calls her ‘mama’. 

Michelle was nervous to become a mother, especially a single mother - but she knew Maddie was made for her in a way she couldn’t describe. She’d always wanted to adopt a child - she assumes she’s lucky enough to conceive naturally as well, but adoption was something that was her dream since before she can remember. 

It’s hard, harder than anything she’s ever done before - especially seeing as she was about four years early to the plan, but sometimes things happen - you meet someone so destined to be in your life that you make space. 

“Okay - walk with you.” Her daughter says smiling up at her, and she smiles back. Squeezing her hand they turn to walk straight across the crosswalk, Maddie hopping from line to line in a way that tugs at both MJ’s arm and heart. 

Whilst walking to the community centre she answers all the questions Maddie can come up with unless she answers them herself first. 

“What can walk faster, slugs or snails? Slugs I think.”

“Snails, I think - but I’m not sure.” Michelle answers. 

“Lib- lib - er - ary?” 

“Sure, we can go after this if you like, or if you’re tired we can go another day.”

“Okay, Em Jay. Thank you.”

* * *

Michelle looks around the community theatre with a smile - she spent so many evenings here with her parents. God, she misses her mum. She’s endlessly thankful that she has Maddie to show all of this to before the memories fall from her mind - wedged out by new thoughts and ideas that surround her child. 

“Em Jay!” She looks up from her book with a smile at the excitement that seems to seep out of Maddie with every passing moment. She comes bounding over from where she was painting with some other children - with a flyer in her hand. 

She takes it out of her hand while Maddie climbs to sit in her lap so they can read it together. Michelle tries to get her to read most things out loud if they have the time - something her mother used to do with her. 

“The rector said he’s putting on a show and that I can audition if I want!” Michelle looks over to the director Maddie is animatedly talking about. He’s already looking over in their direction when she catches his gaze, huh he’s cute, and he smiles widely and waves over. Smiling back at him, she holds the flyer up in question and mirrors her daughter’s excitement, well internally anyway, when he bounds over. 

He’s a lot cuter up close. She shakes that thought out of her head as he stumbles to a stop in front of them, still waving. 

“Hey, hi - I’m Peter.” He says holding his hand out to her, she takes it and revels in the feel of his palm in hers - warm but not hot. She smiles at him when he stays holding her hand like it’s treasure for a beat too long. His eyes widen when he catches up to her train of thought moments later and he drops her hand like a hot potato. 

“Sorry - erm. Hi.” He says while running the same hand through his hair and she’s annoyed with how hot she finds that. She had little luck finding someone she wanted to date prior to Maddie - through no fault of her own, Michelle is a certified catch, but she’s not willing to settle. She assumed she’d have even less luck when she was a single mum at 25 but that thought barely made an impact when she decided to adopt four years ahead of schedule. 

She’s getting way too ahead of herself - but sue her, he’s cute. 

“Michelle.” She says when he’s looking at her again, and then gestures to her daughter and says, “This is Maddie, she’s… mine.” She says nervously because she’s never really introduced Maddie to anyone other than family and she’s not sure if people do that. But she’s unfathomably proud to be her mum so she thinks, why not. 

“Oh, I know she talked about you at length over there - she’s great.” He says with a smile and she holds Maddie closer because he’s right - she is. 

“Thank you.” She replies with a smile and then wonders whether or not they’re going to just stare at each other for the rest of the day. 

“Erm, so. We’re running a holiday nativity type affair, that Maddie is welcome to audition for if she likes. Well like… she’ll get a part at the end obviously - just not sure which one.” He says with a little blush, she likes it. 

“What, you mean she won’t get the lead part of…?” She responds with what she hopes is a flirty enough tone that he picks it up but not enough to be weird because she has her child with her. It’s a fine line to walk that she’s not entirely sure she’s ready for yet. 

“Oh, the cat or the moon.. We’re trying to stay away from the religious nativities because I couldn’t figure out a way to incorporate them all, do you know how many there are?! -” he asks animatedly and she can’t help but smile at him “- I had to research so much but I didn’t wanna accidentally keep one out - so I changed it over from last years but that meant I had to write a whole play and it -” he runs one of his hands through his hair again and rocks on the backs of the feet and it stirs something within her that she’s nervous about “- didn’t go as planned.” He finishes with a shy laugh. 

“Cat or the moon - cute.” 

“Yeah.” He replies breathlessly while not taking his eyes off of her. Clearing his throat he adds, “but I can’t give Maddie the lead just because she’s got a pretty mum.” His eyes widen comically and she unintentionally throws her head back as she snorts out a laugh and enjoys the way his eyes follow the movement. 

“I like that. You can’t have favourites when you’re in the ‘holiday not religious’ playwriting game.” She watches as he sticks his tongue between his bottom teeth and cheek and rolls his eyes but she’s pretty sure he’s not mad at her. 

“What do you say, Maddie?” He says softly crouching to her level. “Wanna be in the play?” 

Maddie turns to face Michelle and says, “Can I, Em Jay?” Michelle nods in response noticing Peter attempt to hide a furrowed brow in her peripheral vision. Maddie whoops and jumps from her lap, running back over to where she was painting - another thing she’s gained from Michelle that makes her heart thump. 

Peter is still crouched in front of her and she feels the need to tell him why Maddie doesn’t call her mum. Usually, she wouldn’t explain herself but something in Peter’s eyes suggests he won’t judge her either way. 

“I adopted her, not long ago… well like six months and they said it would take some time. Well, she might not ever call me - erm, I guess.” She says pulling at the edge of her jumper for something to do other than internally scream at the awkwardness flowing out of her. 

“Hey -” Peter responds with a hand on her wrist that makes her skin feel like it’s on fire “-that’s really cool. She really likes you, she talked about you non stop over there -if that’s not a super annoyingly patronising thing for a random guy at the community centre to tell you.” His thumb seems to be absentmindedly running over her wrist and she flicks her gaze to it which makes him recoil and stand up straight. “Sorry.” He says redder than before. 

She stands up, she’s got a good inch on him and she adores it. “It’s okay. Thank you - I don’t talk about it much. But I appreciate it.” 

“Yeah, of course.” He replies smiling at her and swinging his hands by his sides as if he’s itching to carry on the conversation but has run out of topics. 

“So - do you need any helpers for anything? I’ll probably stay when she comes to rehearsals and stuff so… I can leave my books at home.” 

The smile he gives her in response ignites something she swore was going to stay dormant for a few years yet - but it’s the holiday season. Anything can happen at Christmas. 

“Yeah, I’d like that. Or - the centre would.” He says clearing his throat again and leading her over to what she assumes is his work area.  “So, Maddie says you paint?”

* * *

Michelle enters the community centre attempting to dust her child’s coat off because it started snowing lightly on their way here - but she’s struggling because she has two drinks in her hand. Deciding to put the cups on the floor so she can help Maddie with her coat and drink, she’s un-shocked to hear Maddie shout hello to Peter. They are kind of early. Through no fault of her own, the trains were on time and she wasn’t prepared for it. 

“Peter!”

She watches him spin around like he’s not shocked they’re there, which is weird because he definitely hadn’t turned around yet, she spent a good forty-five seconds looking at the shape of his shoulders in his jumper.

“Maddie! How are you today?” He says walking over as Maddie runs to meet him in the middle. MJ bends back down to get the drinks and goes over to see what they’re talking about. And because she misses Maddie. Only Maddie. 

“Oh that sounds so cool, so you’re starting school in the New Year?” 

“Mmmm.” MJ looks down because she thought Maddie was mainly excited about starting school. She’s gone back and forth with whether she should keep her home another year to settle in more but she thinks the structure will help. There are so many aspects to parenting that no one tells you about. How it’s not only worrying about life or death, it’s what to do when they seem sad for no apparent reason, it’s learning to deal with the nightmares your child has that you have no idea how to ask her about. Sure the latter is more specific to their situation but even something as insignificant as whether Maddie likes the book she brought to read is enough to make her stomach roll. 

“I was so nervous to start school, but I made a best friend on my very first day.” He says in a tone that she only ever uses on cats and dogs but finds cute when he says it to her child. 

“Yeah?” She replies, lightning up and he nods at her. She mutters an excited okay and runs off to the painting table. 

“Hey.” He says standing back up. 

“Hey….Oh, here you go. I didn’t know what you liked so… just took a guess.” She says handing him the cup of black coffee. “I have milk and sugar in my bag if you take it with those.” 

She knows there’s a coffee machine there, but he doesn’t say anything - he just beams at her and it makes her stomach flutter. She bought him something, which means she was thinking about him outside of the centre and his face seems to reflect the fact that he knows that.

“Thank you so much, MJ! It’s exactly how I like it, thanks.” He says taking it out of her hand, she jolts slightly when her fingers brush his even though it was planned. 

She laughs at him because surely he has no way of knowing what she gave him. She raises her eyebrow at him in question and -

“You look really pretty today. Well all day, not that I saw you earlier or anything - I’m not a stalker.” He says flustered and he’s blushing so she pushes it. 

“Therefore I have value?” It’s a successful, slightly mean comeback and he looks like he might be sick. 

“No, no -”

“I’m messing with you -” and Peter breathes out a sigh of relief “- you look pretty too.”

“You know, like - all the time. Not that I stalk you or whatever.”

He extravagantly brings his hand to his chest and gasps, revelling in the way she laughs when he says, “Michelle!” 

* * *

“Please can you take the box?”

“Sure, baby,” Michelle replies while Maddie eagerly takes her coat off. 

It’s December 10th and Michelle has been teaching Maddie and herself about Hanukkah trying to stress to her daughter that because they aren’t religious doesn’t mean they can’t immerse themselves and learn about other people’s celebrations. 

Peter mentioned being Jewish a while back and how much he enjoys making food with his Aunt but he’s nervous this year that he won’t be able to with the play and some other commitment that makes his eyes shoot open whenever he mentions it. It always makes her laugh, but the more she starts to like him the more nervous she gets. She’s pretty sure he doesn’t have a partner - but she can’t be sure. 

Either way, she and Maddie made or attempted to make sufganiyot. It’s one of her favourite things to do because Maddie tries so hard and gets so excited when Michelle lets her crack the eggs (into a separate bowl they learnt pretty quickly). 

Walking through the doors to the centre she watches Maddie throw a wave to Peter and immediately run in the opposite direction. She’s been working on painting some stars for the set and was slightly worried she wouldn’t be finished in time. Michelle is desperately not trying to coddle her but also wants to run over and help. So she’s distracting herself by bringing Peter treats. 

She sees him next, facing her way but talking to a woman with long brown hair that she can’t see properly - should she wait to go over? His eyes light up as he sees her and he waves her over-enthusiastically. 

“MJ!” He says and then says something quietly to the woman in front of him, who has turned slightly to watch her walking over. She looks back to Peter and Michelle hears her say she’ll be right back, and she leaves with a quick wave. 

“Afternoon, dork.” 

“Hi.” He says with a smile. “What’s that?” 

“Oh - erm, we - well Maddie and I made you some sufganiyot... If you want it.” She says stuttering in an uncharacteristic way but the way his face shone when he realised it was for him almost took her breath away. 

“You made me these? They’re my favourite.” He says with awe as he takes the box from her with the largest smile she’s seen on him. 

“Yeah, I know you said you might not have time - and it won’t be as good as your Aunt’s or anything -” She’s cut off when he puts the box on the shelf next to him and pulls her into a hug. The feeling of his body against hers stirs something deep within her, and she’s mad she hasn’t taken her coat off yet so she can truly feel him. 

“Thank you, MJ. Really, this is amazing.”

“You’re welcome.” She whispers against his neck. 

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” 

“Oh yeah?” She moves back to take her coat off and place it on a chair with her bag. 

“Yeah, my Aunt is here today. I was talking to her when you came in.” He asks in question as if she’s forgotten the woman who waved at her. “She wants to meet you if you’d like.” She’s excited because that means he’s spoken about her to people he knows outside of the community centre and it makes her heart race.

“You talking about me to you Aunt, huh?” She says while crossing her arms and leaning towards him. 

“Often.” The sincerity in his voices shocks her and allows the smile to take over her face. 

She sees May walking back from the kitchen and not so subtly ask if it’s okay to come over now which Peter responds to with the same level of subtly - so she knows where he got it from.

“May this is MJ - MJ this is my Aunt May.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” MJ says sticking her hand out, but May playfully knocks it away and pulls her into a hug - another thing she guesses Peter learnt from her. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, honey, Peter has told me so much about you.” She says as they’re pulling away.

“Maaaay.”

“Oh honey, you’re about as subtle as a car horn -”

“I made a sufganiyah,” Michelle says quickly, only to keep Peter from looking more embarrassed by the second. May is ecstatic and goes to open the box while Peter mouths a thank you at her. She goes to stand next to him while May talks about how good the jelly looks and feels his hand skirting around hers - so she links their fingers together, feeling warmer than she has in a long time as he squeezes her fingers. 

* * *

He’s smiling at her like he wants to know more about her and all she really wants to do is push him against the wall and run her hands through his hair. 

She’s about to move over to do something she’s pretty sure she’ll regret - she said going into adopting that she wouldn’t date for a little while and certainly wouldn’t be introducing people to Maddie before she was sure it was serious. But she likes him, she thinks she really likes him. 

She’s stopped in her tracks by the lift shuddering to a stop - they haven’t been in it long enough to have made it down three flights of stairs. She tries to calm herself at the thought that they’re trapped - but they can’t be, right? That kind of thing only happens in movies and books and -

The flights flickering off and back on make her heart leap into her throat. Maddie. 

She’s fine. She’ll be fine. She’s with May. 

“Hey, don’t worry - or try not to. This happens a little bit, we just need to wait and it’ll kick back on okay?” Peter says with his arm stretched out like he wants to touch her. 

“Yeah - yeah, okay. Thank you.” She says wrapping her arms around herself. She’s worried about Maddie and she’s so mad at herself for following him into a lift when she’s crazy claustrophobic. 

She’s telling herself to breathe deeply, Peter’s been around for a while, he knows what he’s talking about. He looks like he’s waging a war in his head and she can’t figure out about what. Does he know how to get her out? Does he want to comfort her? She’s unsure and can’t think over the fact that this is Maddie’s first Christmas with her and she's trapped in an elevator. 

“Hey, come here.” He says in a tone that sounds as desperate as she feels, but he wants to help her and that’s enough. 

She walks over to him and he backs himself into the wall of the lift, hugging her to his chest. She lets out a shuddering breath and his reaction is more intense than she’s expecting but it does help to take her mind off being trapped. He’s moving one hand up and down her back in a way that she’s sure is supposed to come off lazy and unintentional but she can hear him focusing all of his energy on the way his fingers run against her ribs. 

He moves his hands to rest lightly on her waist to pull her away from him slightly. She feels like he’s in some kind of holiday movie, like the reason they’re stuck in an elevator in the middle of December is so she can kiss the cute guy she wasn’t supposed to fall for. That’s how things work, right?

Peter looks like he knows what she’s thinking, as she loosely links her hands behind his neck - eyes flicking to his lips. He pulls her ever closer to his body giving her plenty of time to stop this if she doesn’t want it. She’s very aware of the fact they’re locked in a metal box suspended somewhere above the ground and she’s shocked by how calm she feels with him. She leans in closer, lips barely brushing his as his neck snaps up just as she jolts back, as they hear someone cry. God, please don’t be Maddie. 

“Em Jay?” She cries.

“Maddie?! Shit, shit.” Michelle says loudly and quickly moves away from Peter while looking around as if there’s gonna be anything in the lift that’s going to help her out.

“Where is she?” She can hear Maddie getting increasingly shrill and she knows that can’t be good - she’s never done it before and Michelle isn’t there to help her. 

“Okay - so… if no one can hear us if we shout how do we get out of here?! There’s no phone!” She is almost as hysterical as her daughter. “You’ve been locked in before right? How do you get out?” He looks nervous at her question and she doesn’t care how he does it, she just needs to get to her. 

“Peter.” She knows she looks frantic and she hopes he can imagine how panicked she is right now. 

“Where’s MJ gone?-” they hear Maddie sob “-I’m going back aren’t I? She’s sending me back.” 

“No -” Michelle brokenly screams against the lift doors “-no, no. What?! How can she - oh my God.” She presses her palm to her face and attempts to muffle a scream into it but she can feel the tears falling. She doesn’t know why she thinks Peter can help her. Maybe she doesn’t, maybe she’s just desperate for him too.”

“Please -” she says as he says “Just - don’t freak okay?” while placing a hand on her shoulder and then moving swiftly to the doors. Bracing his hands in the small gap he heaves the first set open and she gasps at the action. He slowly opens the second set, checking no-one can see them from here. She walks over to the door but he holds an arm back to keep her away - but even from here she can see they’re a good ten foot from the ground. She could jump. 

Peter turns around to face her and he looks nervous, but she’s unconcerned about how he’s going to get them down - she just wants to see Maddie. He gestures to her to come over and she immediately wraps her arms around his neck trying to show she’s not scared and she trusts him. The latter is true. 

He manoeuvres them out the doors when her legs are securely around his waist and slowly descends to the ground. 

“What the fuck, Peter.” And she hates how terrified she sounds. He must know it’s not aimed at him but their distance from the ground. She wishes he’d had a chance to tell her this a different way. She’s falling in love with Spider-Man and she barely has ten seconds to digest this information before they’re on the ground. 

“Thank you.” She says against his neck and he shivers slightly.

“Yeah - of course.” 

She’s so grateful he shared this with her, even though she feels like she forced it out of him. She can apologise later. He’ll understand, he’s a great guy. She kisses his cheek as they touch the ground and she runs over to Maddie. Telling her over and over again that she loves her, that she’s home, that she’d never leave her. 

When Maddie’s sobs have weakened to a whimper, but her hold on Michelle is as strong as ever - she chances a look around to see if Peter is still here. He is, exactly where she left him and he looks nervous and like he wants to see how they both are. She’s about to call him over when she hears a news announcement that there’s a pile-up downtown and she watches as he looks at her and then at his phone - and then leaves.

* * *

“I can’t - I don’t. Pete -” she looks at him and hopes she’s conveying how much she likes him, how badly she wants to see where this goes. But she’s not just thinking about her anymore. 

“If it was just me -” she brings a hand to her forehead wondering how this got so complicated so quickly. She’s mad at herself for letting herself think this could  _ be  _ anything - they’ve never even kissed. She’s supposed to have been putting Maddie first and she’s been flirting with the cute director. God, he’s so pretty. She drops her hand to hold his wrist, he gives it to her willingly. 

“If it was just me, I’d - you know, right?” She says moving closer to him, hoping he understands. 

“It’s okay, Em.” He whispers, stroking her wrist with his thumb but he won’t meet her gaze - she’s not sure if it helps or hurts. “I understand, I just -” he looks up at her and she sees everything she’s feeling portrayed all over his face. 

“Peter.” It comes out more broken than she’s let anyone see her since her mum died and he surges towards her, wrapping his arms around her and she can’t figure out if she should stop it or if she’d even be able to. Pulling back, she finds his face is inches from hers and if she wanted she could lean in and press her lips to his, do any of the numbers of things she’s thought about in abundance since she first saw him. But she knows that’s not fair - knowing that she’s barely had twenty-four hours to run this over in her head.

In the end, he makes the decision for her, breaking the staring contest they both thrust themselves into. He looks about as sad as she feels, semi glad that she’s not the only one who feels this way after what can only have been six weeks. He places a kiss to the spot where her neck meets her shoulder and she lets out an involuntary sigh at the feeling of his lips against her. 

“It shouldn’t be this hard really -” he says looking at the ground with his arms loosely around her waist “- but it is. I rarely regret being Spider-Man, using my powers for this.” He continues quietly as if he’s sharing a secret with her. She’s desperate to know everything about him. Knowing that to the core he’s kind if he chooses to swing around in spandex and help people every day and really that’s all that matters. 

“I regret it a little bit right now.” He says with a humourless laugh - his gaze flicking to hers. 

“You have this insane talent and power, and God are we all lucky that it fell on you. You’re  _ so  _ good, Pete -” she says moving her hands to cradle his neck so he’s looking at her “-with all that power comes responsibility -” his eyes widen and water and she’s awful but carries on so he knows “- I guess, right? It sucks and I’m sorry you have to make any of these decisions - but you’re doing  _ so  _ well.” 

He sniffs and hugs her closer, one arm behind her neck in a way that makes her feel uncontrollably safe. “Thank you. Someone very important to me said something similar once - it means a lot to me. I wish you could have met him.” He says with a final kiss to her neck and then he’s gone. 

Michelle watches him leave and wishes that this wasn’t how it had to be. She’s not sure in which way, she’d never want to not have Maddie and she’d never want to change anything about Peter - so she screws her face to stop the tears falling for something she can’t and wouldn’t change, no matter how hard she wanted it to. 

* * *

They’ve just finished decorating the tree and there are already so many things Michelle wants to do again next year, or slightly different. She can’t wait to start traditions with Maddie. She wants to help her make a new decoration every year, and choose new holiday books, and make a bunting that crosses their living room and goes into the kitchen. 

Maddie has been ecstatic all day and it’s worked wonders in getting her to forget about Peter. He creeps into her thoughts when the apartment is silent while Maddie concentrates on cutting out snowflakes. She has intrusive thoughts about what he’d be like if he were here. Would he help Maddie with colouring, would he put the lights along the top of the window like she desperately wants to do but cannot be bothered. 

“How come you don’t see Peter when we’re not at the centre? Lucy says her mummy’s boyfriend comes round all the time.” Maddie says casually as she holds some cutout stars up to show Michelle. 

“They’re lovely, baby, well done. Peter works at the centre.” She replies in confusion. 

“But you hold hands so he’s your boyfriend,” Maddie says matter of factly as Michelle’s eyes widen and she’s so annoyed she didn’t realise how much children picked up. “You said I can’t hold hands with anyone I don’t like, or don’t know -” well she’s not incorrect “-stranger danger!” Maddie laughs and shouts at her and she laughs with her. 

“You’re both always looking at each other - can he not leave the centre because that’s where he’s sticky?” She says rolling a glue stick half on the paper half on the table. 

“What?!” Michelle replies in alarm, but immediately shows she’s not mad about the glue by wiping it up with a tissue and kissing Maddie’s forehead. 

“When he walked down the wall with you - sticky. Does that mean he has to stay?” 

Michelle sits back on the couch in slight alarm at how Maddie apparently knows who the infamous Spider-Man is - without actually knowing. Has she told anyone? She wouldn’t know not to, but she can’t fathom the guilt she’ll feel if she’s the reason Peter’s identity is outed. 

“Oh, he was just practising. Did you tell anyone what you saw?” She asks, feeling guilty for trying to slyly manipulate her child, instead of being straight with her. She forgives herself because it’s a difficult topic. She breathes out a sigh of relief when Maddie shakes her head. 

“Can it be a little secret between you and me?” 

Maddie shrieks and gets up from sitting by the table to climb into Michelle’s lap and presses kisses to her face, “A secret between just us - and Peter.” She says while she grabs tiny fistfuls of MJ’s jumper. She’s delighted by everything Maddie does but her laugh is her favourite sound. 

“Thank you, baby.”

“That’s okay, it’s not about me and you said, um, that we shouldn’t say things about other people if they’re not there”

“Yeah - yeah, that’s right. Only ever nice things if they’re not around okay. You’re amazing, Maddie.” She says wrapping her arms around her so she can lay on her chest. 

“Get it from you, mama.” She replies sleepily and all Michelle can do is press kisses to the top of her head and attempt to not cry or move from the couch as her daughter falls asleep on her and she can’t believe this is her life. That she’s allowed to raise such a wonderful child. 

The news bulletin blaring brings her out of her lounging state. Her heart drops when she sees an announcement about a metal rhino being in the city - watching as it thrashes it’s tail and takes a corner or a bodega with it. 

But what’s worse is the way the swishing tail catches Spider-Man on one of his swings and he falls to the ground. She watches for long painful minutes waiting for him to get back up, for the channel to show any signs that he’s alive, that he’s okay. It never comes and her chest feels like it’s full of lead when she picks Maddie up to put her in her room. She’ll have to change her pyjamas later. 

She grabs her phone from the kitchen counter and dials his number - she’s not sure when this accident took place but she’s aching to hear his voice. The phone dials and her throat feels tighter each time it rings without answer. 

She hangs up and sends him a message instead. 

MJ: Pete, please tell me you’re okay. I saw the news and - just text me back okay. Please. 

Leaning back against the kitchen counter she runs her hand over her face in despair. She knows this is what his life is like, this is why she bowed out before anything even started. But fuck she hates not knowing what’s going on - aware that it would probably be the same if they ever became anything. She misses him, she really misses him. She really wishes she was there, for anything - so she’d never have to find out he’s hurt from the news. 

She jumps when her phone rings, feeling lighter than ever as she sees his name light up the screen. Swiping the screen, “Peter?!”

“Hey, MJ.” He replies and she breathes out a heavy sigh because he doesn’t sound like he’s in pain, or as though he’s at the hospital. He does sound guilty but not hurt and that’s all she cares about. 

“I’m okay, Em -” the nickname tugs at her heart and she wants to  _ see  _ him, “- I’m sorry… I’ve gotten used to being a little selfish on patrol and relying on my healing to get me out of things. I’m not used to someone worrying unless it’s May and she’s linked up with the suit. But I’ll be better, okay. For you - I’ll do better. Even if this -” she hears him clear his throat and she can tell he’s running his hand through his hair and she misses him so much - she’s about to voice this when he follows up with, “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go.”

The dial tone haunts her sleepless night. 

* * *

The play is beautiful. It’s sweet in all the ways that all five-year-olds are It’s light and fluffy and Michelle can barely feel the weight of Peter’s stare on the side of her face. Whenever she flicks her eyesight away from the stage, or whenever Maddie has gone backstage, she finds herself looking over to Peter and catching him as he blushes and looks elsewhere. 

She cries when Maddie waves at her from the stage, she stands and cheers when she bows at the end and she pulls her into her arms when she comes running at her from the stage. 

“Did you see me, I didn’t forget any words!”

“I know, baby! You did so well.” She responds, matching her daughter’s excitement. 

“Thank you, mama. Gunna get changed.” And she’s off quicker than it can take Michelle’s eyes to start watering at her casual use of mama now. 

Peter walks up next to her and she spins to face him, “That’s - that’s a new addition. I’m so happy -”. She cuts him off by throwing her arms around his neck and pulling his lips to hers. He seems shocked for a moment but then his body melts to hers and he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer to him, both of them lightly gasping between kisses. 

“Em, wait - “ but he pulls her back to him anyway. Peter moans into her mouth when she slides her tongue against his, and it shocks her into pulling away - they are in the middle of a community centre. She doesn’t go far though, her hands still loosely playing with the ends of his hair. 

“Em -” he says pained but pulling her back into another quick kiss, “- I can’t do this if it’s not… if this is because you’re happy I’m not hurt and because of Maddie and - I’m so unbelievably happy for you, God.” He moves one of his hands to brush the hair out of her face and she takes the chance to move closer to him, she knows what he’s going to say and she knows what her answer is going to be. 

“You deserve everything good, Michelle - you’re - you?” He lets out a slightly pained laugh as his hand trails from her cheek to the back of her neck. “But I  _ can’t,  _ not if it’s not going to be anything, or try to be anything. And I could never blame you for that, okay? I don’t. But I can’t just be around you and Maddie and not want more. I’m sorry.”

She watches as he attempts to settle his features to show he’s stopped on his train of thought. She brings her hands to his jaw and pulls him to hear, whispering “I love you,” against his lips as she kisses him. He seems to catch what she said as she deepens the kiss and his hands grasp the back of her neck. 

“You love me?” He says pulling back and looking at her in a way that no longer scares her. 

“I really do. Is that okay?” 

“Yeah, Em,” he says breathlessly with watery eyes. “I -”. 

“Mama!” MJ spins her head to where Maddie is coming from, Peter’s hands remain around her neck and she places her hands over his wrists to bring them down, keeping one intertwined with hers by her side.

“Boyfriends now?” Maddie says looking between them but seemingly excited at the prospect. Michelle looks back to Peter who is already nodding but slows his head bounce drastically when he seems to realise they haven’t spoken about it. 

“Yeah.” She says easily in response, lip tucked between her teeth. 

“Cool. Mama, can you carry please?” 

“I can. If you want?” He asks Maddie but looks at Michelle for confirmation and she smiles and nods at him as Maddie cheers. 

As they’re walking down the street hand in hand, Maddie falling asleep on Peter’s shoulders, Peter says, “I love you as well. And I know this may take some work and we have a lot to talk about but I like you so much and I really love you. Okay?” 

She leans into him, wrapping her other hand around Maddie’s leg leaning on his chest, “Yeah - that’s okay.” 

**Author's Note:**

> merry holiday season to you xxxxxx
> 
> come say hi on tumblr: i-lovethatforme


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